We would like to share with you what we are going to be
experiencing while walking the foster to adopt process.
This is that path
that a child takes. Foster to adopt families enter into this process at various
time during these stages
1. A
child is removed from their home whether it be from neglect, abuse or unsafe
living conditions.
2. The
child is placed in an Emergency Safe House (ESH). Here in Orange County it is
called Orangewood and in LA it is called Palinski. The social worker assigned
to the child determines whether the child is better in a foster home, group
home or with a relative or custodian.
3. Within
72 hours of removal, the parent(s) must attend a “Detention Hearing” This is
where the judge determines whether the child can go back home or become a ward
of the County. The parents will learn what they need to do in order to have the
child returned to them. After the hearing, the children who are returned to
their parents will be provided with in home services.
4. “Review
Hearings” are held every 6 months to review the process of reunification. If
the child is over the age of 4, they may be asked to come to Court. They will
play in the kids room until the social worker comes and questions them. They
will not be in the courtroom. Family visits during this time the court ordered
family visits will occur. They will be a neutral place with the social workers,
foster parents, foster child and birth family. These are typically once a week
for an hour depending on what the court orders.
5. At
these hearings, the child might be reunified with their birth parents.
6. If
Reunification is given a poor prognosis, termination of reunification services
is a result. This is typically 12-18 months after the “Detention Hearing”
Parents will then need to pay for these services. Kids can still be reunified
but the county will not pay for it.
7. Within
18-36 month after the “Detention Hearing,” there is the “.26 Hearing” where the
court terminates parental rights. The birth family has 60-70 days to appeal but
the appeals typically don’t go through as it takes a lot to get to this point.
Only if they find the court did something wrong would they approve an appeal.
Family visits will end.
8. Foster
status ends at this point and the signing of adoption Placement Agreement
occurs
9. The
big Adoption Court Date happens 2-6 months after the signing.
Here are the steps that Brandon and I will be taking.
1. Olive
Crest receives books, flyers and has access to secured websites that lists
children waiting for foster to adopt families
2. Our
Olive Crest social worker will review the information and look for a “match.” The
county is overflowing with Children so they are working to find the best
possible matches.
3. Our
Social Worker will call us with a potential match. If we want to move forward,
which we don’t have to), our home study will be submitted to the County where
the child lives. Either Orange or LA County but more than likely OC.
4. The
county reviews all potential families and if selected, a pre placement
conference with our social worker will occur. This step could take a few days
to a few weeks.
5. We
will meet with the child’s social worker where we will receive a picture, and a
report on the child, their history, birth family, experiences, health issues
and case prognosis. We must take 24-48 hours to decide if we want to proceed.
They will not take an answer on the spot.
6. If
we decide to move forward, arrangements will be made to meet the child. This
might be at the current foster home, county facility or a neutral location.
7. The
placement can take a week up to two months. The factors that make the
difference are the age of the child, ability to handle the transition and depth
of attachment to the current supervisor.
8. Once
placed, the social worker will visit our house 2-3 times a month until the
adoption is finalized to ensure all is going well.
1. The
child will be scared and confused but we have been given tools to help them
work through this.
2. Our
lives will be pretty busy during this time as we will be having family visits
and meetings with the social workers.
3. We
will likely have to take the child to therapy which will possibly involve the
family to ensure we are able to help the child
4. The
normal methods of disciplining a child will not work. There is absolutely no
spanking, hitting or threatening manners. There will be no time outs but more
of a time in. We will likely use a soft blanket and pillow for the child to
retreat to if they are needing discipline but they will remain in the room with
us. We are dealing with someone who has dealt with a lot of trauma so we need
to understand that when they act out, they are scared. Their brains need to be
rewired and through love and compassion, it will happen.
5. There
will be hard times or “triggers” which are typically Holidays. We will do our
best to assist the child through this. They may also have triggers that we are
not aware of so we need to be vigilant when they act out to see if we notice a
pattern.
6. There
will be laughter and light and love.
7. The
child may be of a different ethnicity.
8. The
child may have siblings that they want to remain in contact with
9. The
birthparents probably don’t know any better. I am sure they love their children
but they weren’t taught how to take care of them. More than likely, they grew
up in foster care themselves.
10. There
will be rough days
11. Olive
Crest gives us their cell numbers that we can call 24-7 in case we need to talk
things through with them
12. We
may have several placements before the “one” will be ours forever
13. If
they are reunified, it will be hard but we know that we have given someone hope
and the love of a family if even for a short time.
14. We
have been preparing Madilynne that we may have a little one stay with us while
their parents figure out grown up things. We may have ot take them back to
their families but God will need us to keep one of them forever.
15. The
child maybe in daycare for a portion of the time depending on age
16. It
might be hard to have them in daycare but the way it is viewed is that this
child will be getting attention in a safe place where they weren’t getting that
before in their own home. Olive Crest’s view is that if you can have as much
family time in the evening, that the kids will adapt even if having to be in
daycare. They are finding a trend that
most foster parents have to work.
17. Any
babysitter will need to be fingerprinted and CPR/First aid certified.
18. A
routine will be key during this process
19. We
want to love them as much as we can and make them feel part of our family from
day one.
20. Bonding
usually occurs in this order for foster kids; pets, other children in home,
adults
What Brandon and I have to tend to
Training: 3 onsite which
we have finished and 1 online course
We must
read 2 books about working with children who have been abused or neglected
Bring
fingerprinted
CPR/First
Aid certified
Home
Study
Must
set up generic bedroom in case of quick placement
Cars
have to be inspected
Physical
with the Doctor
Blood
Work
In home
evaluations
Learn
a new discipline style that will work best with hurt children
Work
with our employers as we could be placed fairly quickly
The
list goes on and on but we take it one step at a time
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